During a 10 day silent meditation the last thing you want is a song stuck in your head. My friend gave me a warning about this as some of the last words before I left but I think it was inevitable. Without any outside stimulation and no new tunes coming, concentration becomes crucial and the breath comes more important than ever.
It is rather funny to observe what particular songs came into my head and for what reason- generally I cannot put a finger on it and it will boggle my mind for years to come.
This one I kind of understand as the line I kept coming to is “I cut myself sometimes just to see how much it bleeds, the pain is such a sudden rush to me.” Now I’m not advocating or condoning self harm and I didn’t feel like doing this during the course thank goodness. It was actually the “pain is such a sudden rush to me” which I actually felt during our vipassana sensations when a pulsing throbbing would come up somewhere in the body and we just observe it and not react like we habitually do. Great lesson.
This one was a pain really. Why?? Why”?? I kept asking myself over and over. Really this proves I have the monkey mind – the chattering mind that wanders. And for an entire day I just kept coming back to it.
There are a lot of lines in this song that reminded me of what I’m going through. The title itself is great. I’m hurt, but I bleed love. We were being taught love and compassion so I actually really like this. She is going through pain in the song but still she loves. It’s also a song I really like so that was nice. “Everyone’s looking around thinking I’m going crazy.” Maybe I am….
I’m not so happy about this one as it implies that I was unhappy or wanted to run away from my Vipassana, which I didn’t. I was surprised actually during the week how happy and content I felt at pretty much all times. Though this song just would not escape me. Perhaps it’s to do with the fact that my room did somewhat resemble a prison cell and they did refer to it as our “cell”. On the other hand it could express my desire to want to break free from my old life and habits and welcome the change in me. Let’s go with that one, far more positive outlook!
What would be the worst song to get stuck in your head during meditation?